(of a person, animal, or plant) Living, not dead.
(of a feeling or quality) Continuing in existence: "keeping hope alive"
M!A: N/A
Tracked Tag: itssadwhenitsover
When she started remembering her own memories too the Doctor went into light panic. “Just… don’t think about that. It’s triggering your own memories Idris, you just need to calm down.” Right now he wasn’t sure what he had to do, try to calm her was the best option.
“I know you don’t think like that. It’s not you. Although you have enough reasons to hate me, what you’re saying is not you.” Every emotion she feared were there at once, confusing both herself and him. “Let me at least have my own memories back. Maybe that will stop your own.”
“No.” She shook her head, letting go of his arm. “It’s not that easy, I can’t just give you your memories back. I know you, truly. I have seen everything you have done, all of your decisions And it hurts. I want to be normal, please help me!” Idris all but shouted, making an attempt to cup the Doctors face. “It’s your eyes, you’re so much older. But I still refuse to take you to Trenzalore. I may hate you sometimes, but I still love you.” She continued to ramble on, talking about past memories and repeating things. Even for a Tardis it was still hard to keep hold of a Time Lords memories.“Then let me help you! You’ve seen everything, a normal humans mind will burn and I’m not even sure a TARDIS matrix can take it all. Let me get them out of your mind.” He was very old indeed, maybe not even capable to survive the next few hours. But at this rate Idris might suffer earlier from this from here. “Then don’t take me there then. Idris, listen to me… ” The Doctor noticed she was going absent when she started repeating things that already happened. “I can make you unconscious letting the pain easy for a moment while I take them back? Idris, pay attention, pull yourself out of it!” He cupped her face as well, forcing her to look at him.
“I can’t give them back, everything will fade! I..i don’t even know who you really are. You’re the man of secrets, so many secrets…” Idris spoke bluntly, staring off into the far corner. When the Doctor cupped her face, her own hands fell to her side. Reluctantly she looked at him, fear evident in her eyes. “H-help me Doctor. I-i don’t want to know everything about you, I don’t need to know your secrets. Get them out of my head.” She pleaded, glazed eyes looking into his own.
hello! i’m back on my computer with food, and i’m ready to write starters and do drafts. :)
oh my god. I literally got NO sleep last night, I fell asleep at sEVEN IN THE MORNING.
“No.” She shook her head, letting go of his arm. “It’s not that easy, I can’t just give you your memories back. I know you, truly. I have seen everything you have done, all of your descions. And it hurts. I want to be normal, please help me!” Idris all but shouted, making an attempt to cup the Doctors face. “It’s your eyes, you’re so much older. But I still refuse to take you to Trenzalore. I may hate you sometimes, but I still love you.” She continued to ramble on, talking about past memories and repeating things. Even for a Tardis it was sti hard to keep hold of a Time Lords memories.Like Idris said, it hurted even more. He felt how she pulled away the pain from him, along with images of his memories. As she told him he tried to calm down a bit, but how could he? The one thing he had left in life was sacrificing herself, putting her life in danger for his.
Just when the Doctor thought it couldn’t get worse it was all gone. All the pain, leaving tiredness behind. He quickly opened his eyes to see how Idris was doing. She just absorbed all the pain, maybe even some regeneration energy with it. “Idris?”
After she had taken away all of his pain, Idris stood back. Well actually she was kneeling on the bed, clutching her ribs. The pain would subside for her, or so she thought. It was just a matter of time. Her hearing muffled, so she couldn’t hear the Doctor’s words, she didn’t want too.
She was paying attention to the memories that flooded her mind. From the Time War. What the Doctor did, when he blew up Gallifrey. All his family and children were gone, it created more pain. Now looking up to him, Idris felt the one emotion she hated the most— pity. She wanted to say something, but only two words slurred out of her. “Allonsy, Doctor.”
She couldn’t hear him, the pain was too much for her in combination with the memories. He pulled knelt down beside her with a lot of trouble, grabbing her shoulders and looking into her tired eyes. If she passed out… he wouldn’t think of it.
“No, don’t. You. Dare.” The Doctor searched for many ways to get the memories back out of her mind, she wouldn’t let him. “Idris listen to me… those memories are.. too much for you… please… ” Tears were still flowing from his eyes when he saw the pity and pain. This wasn’t meant to go like this. Why did she had to to that? He was meant to die.
Idris laughed, shaking her head.”No, if you can handle them, so can I. I-it’s too much Doctor.” Her facial expressions suddenly changed, face marked with sadness. “You don’t care about me..you never have. You don’t care about my feelings, whether i’m hurting or not. Hell, you’ve blown me up so many times, do you know how much it hurts?” She looked at him with a look of digust. All the memories, put together were triggering her own. All of her emotions, expressing them all at once.“I don’t want to lose you.I don’twant to lose you. No, stop. I hate you. I hate you, I hate you.” She spat at him, nails digging in his arm. This wasn’t her, he shouldn’t listen to her. “Helpme, Doctor please stop. I will not allow you to go there. It’s okay, y-you’re almost there.”
When she started remembering her own memories too the Doctor went into light panic. “Just… don’t think about that. It’s triggering your own memories Idris, you just need to calm down.” Right now he wasn’t sure what he had to do, try to calm her was the best option.
“I know you don’t think like that. It’s not you. Although you have enough reasons to hate me, what you’re saying is not you.” Every emotion she feared were there at once, confusing both herself and him. “Let me at least have my own memories back. Maybe that will stop your own.”
So I’m spending the night at a friends, and am currently on mobile. That being said, I won’t be on tonight.
Like Idris said, it hurted even more. He felt how she pulled away the pain from him, along with images of his memories. As she told him he tried to calm down a bit, but how could he? The one thing he had left in life was sacrificing herself, putting her life in danger for his.
Just when the Doctor thought it couldn’t get worse it was all gone. All the pain, leaving tiredness behind. He quickly opened his eyes to see how Idris was doing. She just absorbed all the pain, maybe even some regeneration energy with it. “Idris?”
After she had taken away all of his pain, Idris stood back. Well actually she was kneeling on the bed, clutching her ribs. The pain would subside for her, or so she thought. It was just a matter of time. Her hearing muffled, so she couldn’t hear the Doctor’s words, she didn’t want too.
She was paying attention to the memories that flooded her mind. From the Time War. What the Doctor did, when he blew up Gallifrey. All his family and children were gone, it created more pain. Now looking up to him, Idris felt the one emotion she hated the most— pity. She wanted to say something, but only two words slurred out of her. “Allonsy, Doctor.”
She couldn’t hear him, the pain was too much for her in combination with the memories. He pulled knelt down beside her with a lot of trouble, grabbing her shoulders and looking into her tired eyes. If she passed out… he wouldn’t think of it.
“No, don’t. You. Dare.” The Doctor searched for many ways to get the memories back out of her mind, she wouldn’t let him. “Idris listen to me… those memories are.. too much for you… please… ” Tears were still flowing from his eyes when he saw the pity and pain. This wasn’t meant to go like this. Why did she had to to that? He was meant to die.
Idris laughed, shaking her head.”No, if you can handle them, so can I. I-it’s too much Doctor.” Her facial expressions suddenly changed, face marked with sadness. “You don’t care about me..you never have. You don’t care about my feelings, whether i’m hurting or not. Hell, you’ve blown me up so many times, do you know how much it hurts?” She looked at him with a look of digust. All the memories, put together were triggering her own. All of her emotions, expressing them all at once.
“I don’t want to lose you.I don’twant to lose you. No, stop. I hate you. I hate you, I hate you.” She spat at him, nails digging in his arm. This wasn’t her, he shouldn’t listen to her. “Helpme, Doctor please stop. I will not allow you to go there. It’s okay, y-you’re almost there.”
be back later (again.) i’m going to a friends
How the pain got like this all of a sudden was still a mystery, but it hurted, like a knife in his heart. He didn’t wanted Idris to see him like this, although she tried her best, she would never leave. Tears fell dripped on the sheets he held tightly like it would take away the pain.
Once he knew what she was planning he let go of her hand, trying to stop her. “N.. no… Idris…. you… can’t…” For a slight moment the pain eased and he took it to take a deep breath, feeling how his body was failing him. After so many years, maybe it was just time to move on.
“I can, and I will.” She replied, shutting her eyes. It was hard for her to talk against the Doctor’s words, but this would help him. She slowly began to feel his pain, which made her jump. “Ah…” She gritted her teeth in pain, but continued. Flashes from the Time War appeared in her mind, the bloodshed.
“Doctor…you’re almost there, j-just be calm,i know it hurts, you’ll be alright.” She tried to soothe him, but of course she felt the pain too, it wouldn’t be alright.
Like Idris said, it hurted even more. He felt how she pulled away the pain from him, along with images of his memories. As she told him he tried to calm down a bit, but how could he? The one thing he had left in life was sacrificing herself, putting her life in danger for his.
Just when the Doctor thought it couldn’t get worse it was all gone. All the pain, leaving tiredness behind. He quickly opened his eyes to see how Idris was doing. She just absorbed all the pain, maybe even some regeneration energy with it. “Idris?”
After she had taken away all of his pain, Idris stood back. Well actually she was kneeling on the bed, clutching her ribs. The pain would subside for her, or so she thought. It was just a matter of time. Her hearing muffled, so she couldn’t hear the Doctor’s words, she didn’t want too.
She was paying attention to the memories that flooded her mind. From the Time War. What the Doctor did, when he blew up Gallifrey. All his family and children were gone, it created more pain. Now looking up to him, Idris felt the one emotion she hated the most— pity. She wanted to say something, but only two words slurred out of her. “Allonsy, Doctor.”
He smiled faintly at the familiar voice. The Doctor looked up with a pained expression. “It’s one of my hearts… it’s failing.” His hand found Idris’ hand again and pinched it without knowing.
She would heal him, although he wasn’t sure it would work it was the best thing to do. If this was death it did an awful lot of pain. “Idris… p.. please… It burns…. stop… stop it….”
Idris winced slightly when he pinched her, but her focus was on him, and his pain. “Okay, okay…” She breathed out. She couldn’t heal him, Her energy would spark a regeneration, and she couldn’t let The Doctor regenerate. That’d be his last life, his last chance.
What she could do was take away the pain. she knew how to, The Doctor’s tenth incarnation did it to her once. Took all her pain. Idris decided to give it a shot. Closer to him now Idris rested her index and middle fingers on his temple, while her thumbs placed under his eyes. “Breathe Doctor, this might hurt a bit, but you’ll be fine,” She whispered, resting her forehead against his.
How the pain got like this all of a sudden was still a mystery, but it hurted, like a knife in his heart. He didn’t wanted Idris to see him like this, although she tried her best, she would never leave. Tears fell dripped on the sheets he held tightly like it would take away the pain.
Once he knew what she was planning he let go of her hand, trying to stop her. “N.. no… Idris…. you… can’t…” For a slight moment the pain eased and he took it to take a deep breath, feeling how his body was failing him. After so many years, maybe it was just time to move on.
“I can, and I will.” She replied, shutting her eyes. It was hard for her to talk against the Doctor’s words, but this would help him. She slowly began to feel his pain, which made her jump. “Ah…” She gritted her teeth in pain, but continued. Flashes from the Time War appeared in her mind, the bloodshed.
“Doctor…you’re almost there, j-just be calm,i know it hurts, you’ll be alright.” She tried to soothe him, but of course she felt the pain too, it wouldn’t be alright.
